For your daughter, I’d look first for warm caregivers who respond to her needs, safe routines, and staff who stay long enough to get to know her. She should get plenty of individual attention from people who learn her cues.

Legal staffing limits depend on your country or state. Meeting them alone doesn’t establish quality. For comparison:

- ZERO TO THREE recommends one adult for every four children under three, with no more than eight children in a group. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends one adult for every three babies under 12 months.
- One adult for every 12 children ages 3 to 5 means substantially less adult attention than the AAP recommends: one adult for every seven three-year-olds, or eight four- and five-year-olds.

These recommendations don’t establish what’s legal where you live. Ask how many children share the room and how staff cover breaks and absences. [ZERO TO THREE](https://www.zerotothree.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/ratios_brief-1.pdf), [AAP guidance](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/work-and-child-care/Pages/choosing-a-child-care-center.aspx)

Your wife could take this checklist along:

| What to check | What to observe or ask |
|---|---|
| Caregiver interactions | Do adults respond to crying, comfort children, make eye contact, and talk with them? Watch what happens when several children need help at once. |
| Consistent caregivers | “Who would be our daughter’s main caregiver? How long have the infant staff worked here? How often do children change rooms or caregivers?” |
| Actual staffing | Count the children and the caregivers actively supervising them. “Who covers lunch breaks, diaper changes, and sick days? Do you combine rooms at opening or closing?” |
| Training | Ask about infant-care experience, ongoing training, background checks, and current infant/child CPR and first-aid certification. |
| Communication | Will staff tell you about feeds, naps, diapers, and concerns? Can they explain how they would help your daughter settle in? |
| Discipline | Ask how they handle crying, biting, and tantrums. Look for patient comfort and guidance. Shouting, humiliation, or rough handling are serious concerns. |

[ChildCare.gov](https://childcare.gov/consumer-education/find-and-choose-quality-child-care) and the [AAP](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/work-and-child-care/Pages/making-child-care-choices-count-for-your-family.aspx) both emphasize relationships, staffing, training, and communication with parents when choosing care.

In the infant room, check the following as well:

- Babies should sleep on their backs on a firm, flat surface with only a fitted sheet. There should be no pillows, loose blankets, bumpers, or toys. Swings and car seats should not be routine sleep spaces. [AAP safe-sleep guidance](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/pages/a-parents-guide-to-safe-sleep.aspx?form=HealthyChildren)
- Ask whether staff follow each baby’s feeding cues, support breast milk if needed, hold babies for bottle feeds, and record intake. Bottles should never be propped. Find out how staff handle allergies and choking emergencies. [AAP feeding checklist](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/work-and-child-care/Pages/your-child-care-checklist.aspx?form=HealthyChildren)
- Look for talking, singing, books, and supervised floor play. Ask how staff accommodate each baby’s sleep and feeding routine.
- Watch handwashing and diaper changes. Check that entrances are secure, pickup is limited to authorized people, and hazards are out of reach. Request written policies for illness, medication, and emergencies.

Before enrolling, check the license, inspection reports, and substantiated complaints with the local regulator. Ask for references from families currently using the infant room. In the U.S., [ChildCare.gov explains how to find those records](https://www.childcare.gov/consumer-education/find-and-choose-quality-child-care/simple-steps-for-finding-and-choosing-child-care).

The Mommy and Me class is a useful first look. I’d also arrange to observe an ordinary day in the infant room with the staff who would care for your daughter. The class may have different staffing, and it won’t show how caregivers manage feeding, naps, and several babies needing help at once. Ask: “What happens when one baby needs feeding, another needs changing, and another is crying?”