**You’re not out of sync, but neither is your son unreasonable for asking.** With necessities covered, $12 a week may be adequate; whether it is depends on local prices and what you expect him to buy. His friends’ $20 is useful context, but it doesn’t settle the question.

I’d decide this with him using a small budget:

1. **Ask what the extra $8 would make possible.** Is he missing occasional outings, saving for a game, or mainly wanting the same amount as his friends? Social activities are a legitimate consideration, even though they’re optional.
2. **Compare what each allowance covers.** A friend getting $20 might also pay for transport or lunches. Include any spending money you give your son outside his allowance.
3. **Price a realistic month together.** Choose a few ordinary activities and a savings goal. An allowance should let him make some choices while still requiring tradeoffs—not buy everything he wants.
4. **Agree on an amount and a review date.** You could keep $12, try an intermediate amount, or trial $20 for two months. Review whether it supports the agreed activities and savings, without approving every purchase.

This approach fits the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s guidance: discuss plans for allowance money, explain differing family priorities, and help teens practise spending, saving, and planning. See its [allowance conversation guide](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/money-as-you-grow/school-age-children-preteens/explore-earning/) and [resources for teenagers](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/money-as-you-grow/teen-young-adult/). Those are more useful here than a universal age-based dollar figure.

**Your concern about smoking deserves a direct conversation of its own.** Friends’ tobacco use is a recognized risk factor, so your concern has a basis. But that doesn’t establish that your son will smoke—or that keeping his allowance at $12 will prevent it. The [CDC identifies peer use, access, and parental involvement among the factors affecting youth tobacco use](https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/php/data-statistics/youth-data-tobacco/index.html).

Ask calmly whether he has been offered cigarettes or vapes, what he thinks about them, and how he would handle an offer. State your rule clearly, while making it possible for him to tell you about pressure or experimentation. Avoid treating his request for more money as evidence of misconduct.

You can also distinguish **a purchase you consider poor value** from **something dangerous**. Spending his money on a disappointing game can teach him judgment; tobacco needs a firm boundary.

You might say:

> “I’m willing to review your allowance. Let’s look at what you’d like it to cover and what those things cost. Your friends’ allowances are one piece of information. I’m also concerned about smoking, and I want us to talk openly about that.”

My recommendation is to hear his budget before deciding. If $12 allows reasonable recreation and saving, keeping it is defensible. If it routinely excludes him from ordinary activities you support, an increase is worth considering.