**You haven’t spoiled him or caused this.** Needing help to fall asleep—and waking when put down—is common at nearly 3 months. That doesn’t make it any less exhausting, especially for your wife. [NHS guidance](https://www.nhs.uk/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/helping-your-baby-to-sleep/) describes babies initially sleeping only in a parent’s arms.

At this age, focus on gentle practice. Formal sleep training, including timed crying methods, is generally considered around **4–6 months**, depending on the baby’s development and health. Night feeds may still be needed. [Cleveland Clinic guidance](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/when-and-how-to-sleep-train-your-baby)

Try these steps:

- **Use a short, repeatable routine:** feed, change if needed, dim the lights, cuddle and sing quietly. Start settling when he looks sleepy, before he becomes very upset.
- **Practise one crib nap each day.** You can rock or feed him to sleep first and then gently transfer him. Falling asleep independently isn’t a requirement right now.
- **Help him settle in the crib:** try quiet shushing and a gentle hand on his chest while you’re beside him. If he becomes distressed, pick him up, calm him and try again. Keep attempts manageable; there’s no need to turn every nap into a prolonged struggle.
- **Share the carrying and settling.** Take a regular shift yourself, or enlist someone trusted, so your wife gets predictable time to eat, shower and rest. Consistent routines and help from another caregiver are recommended for exhausted parents. [AAP advice](https://healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/safe-sleep-tips-for-sleep-deprived-parents.aspx)

**The sleep arrangement is the change to prioritise now:** put him on his back in his own crib or bassinet beside your bed, with a firm, flat mattress and only a fitted sheet. Bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation and sleep-related death, particularly under 4 months. Avoid pillows, blankets, nests and positioners, and never fall asleep holding him on a sofa or armchair. If you bring him into bed to feed, return him to his crib before you sleep. [AAP safe-sleep guidance](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/pages/a-parents-guide-to-safe-sleep.aspx)

If lying flat consistently seems painful, or he has feeding difficulties, poor weight gain or unusually persistent crying, discuss that with his pediatrician rather than assuming it’s a habit. For now, aim for small gains in crib sleep and more rest for both parents—not perfect independent sleep.