**$12 a week can be a reasonable allowance for discretionary spending.** Whether it is sufficient depends on local prices, what you pay for separately, and what you want him to learn about managing money. His friends’ $20 is useful context, but you can set your family’s amount on those grounds.

I would handle the allowance request and the smoking concern in separate conversations.

For the allowance, try this:

1. **Ask what the extra $8 would make possible.** Have him price a typical month of activities and anything he wants to save toward. Being unable to join an occasional outing deserves consideration; wanting every purchase his friends make calls for a discussion about priorities.
2. **Compare what the allowances cover.** A friend’s $20 might include lunches or transport. Also count any extra spending money you give your son between allowance payments.
3. **Agree on a predictable amount and review date.** You could keep $12, agree to an intermediate amount, or try $20 for six weeks. Base the decision on his proposed budget and review how it worked.
4. **Give him room to make ordinary mistakes.** If he spends his fun money early, let him wait until the next payment. A purchase you consider poor value can become a useful lesson.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a regular allowance, budgeting discussions, and limits on extra money for discretionary purchases. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau similarly emphasizes pairing allowance with guidance about spending and saving. Neither linked resource prescribes a dollar amount for a 14-year-old. [AAP guidance](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/Next-Stop-Adulthood-Tips-For-Parents.aspx), [CFPB guidance](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/archive/blog/heres-why-childhood-is-an-important-time-to-learn-about-money/).

**Keeping the allowance at $12 cannot guarantee that he will avoid smoking:** he could save money or receive cigarettes from friends. His friends’ smoking also does not establish that he intends to smoke. Ask what he thinks about it, whether anyone has offered him cigarettes, and how he would respond. State your expectations about smoking and vaping clearly. CDC guidance supports clear expectations, knowing his friends and activities, and maintaining a relationship in which he feels comfortable talking to you. [CDC guidance for parents](https://www.cdc.gov/healthy-youth-parent-resources/positive-parental-practices/parental-monitoring.html).

You might say: “I’m willing to review your allowance. Show me what you’d like it to cover, and we’ll work through the costs together.”

Your current amount is defensible. Giving his request a fair hearing will make the decision easier to explain—and give him practice making a reasoned case.