**Talk to her about your concerns, and keep yourself someone she can safely confide in.** An eight-year gap at 17 deserves careful attention because of the possible difference in independence, experience and influence.

Some of your conclusions go beyond what you know, though. They may have interests in common; being 25 doesn’t establish that he wants marriage or children soon; and his age alone doesn’t establish his motives. Owning a successful business tells you little about how he treats a partner. Focus on what you can learn and observe.

Start with curiosity, privately and when you’re calm: how did they meet, how long have they known each other, what does she enjoy about being with him? Listen before giving your view. You could say:

> “I love you, and I want to understand this relationship. I’m concerned because you’re 17 and he’s further into adult life. Your plans for university, travel and work matter, and I want you to feel free to pursue them. How does he respond when you disagree with him or want time with your friends?”

That last question matters. A healthy relationship includes respect, freedom to make choices and consent given freely. Watch for pressure to have sex, jealousy, monitoring her phone, isolation from friends, or pressure to abandon education or become financially dependent. These behaviours warrant action. [NSPCC guidance on healthy relationships](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/healthy-relationships/)

Practical steps you can take:

- **Get to know him.** Invite him over for an ordinary meal. Observe whether he listens to her, respects her decisions and supports her plans.
- **Keep boundaries clear and proportionate.** Discuss arrangements for going out, getting home and visitors. Avoid threats, humiliation or making her defend him through repeated arguments.
- **Support her own future.** Keep helping with applications, friendships and activities she values. Ask what *she* wants over the next few years.
- **Make sexual-health support accessible.** Have a calm conversation about consent, contraception and condoms. Offer help accessing a clinic if she wants it. NHS sexual-health services are free and confidential, with exceptions for serious safety or welfare concerns. [NHS confidentiality guidance](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/confidentiality-at-sexual-health-services/)

Tell her explicitly: “You can call me for a lift or tell me something has gone wrong, even if we’ve disagreed about him.”

If you see coercion, fear or exploitation, seek advice promptly from the NSPCC on **0808 800 5000**. You can also call to discuss concerns while you’re still unsure. [NSPCC advice](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/healthy-relationships/)

You can be honest that the age gap worries you while staying involved and listening. She needs to know both that you take her feelings seriously and that your help remains available.